Why Fear Change?

Why is it inside of us to fear change? Many avoid it at all cost. Some embrace it in certain ways but are petrified of it in other instances. Is it because change may take us outside of our comfort zone? Truly, we often become complacent and enjoy doing things a specific way or live life beating to the same drum. But if the beat of that drum needs a change in rhythm, will we seize it? Fear of change can cause internal conflict. Maybe we reside in an area not because we are in love with the vicinity, but we are horrified of what change might bring. Possibly, we have changed our thinking, but will not change our actions because we fear ridicule or loss of those around us who think the way we no longer feel. Thus, we begin living a lie. Is that a joyous existence?

Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear. We began to think of the worse that can happen if we allow others to know we have changed. What we think about and reality actually are often two different things. True, change may make you feel you will lose friends or loved ones. Actually true friends will welcome your change. Friends of circumstance will not. What are friends of circumstance? They are acquaintances who exist because you are in similar situations who will not be there once those conditions differ. For instance, maybe you are in the same peer group possibly in school or work. But once you graduate or are no longer employed at the same facility, they are gone with communication ceasing. Maybe you have a circle of friends with your marriage mate, but once the partners change and are no longer married, the friends dissipate. They long for you together, but are not fond of you apart. The question is, are friends of circumstance friends at all? If one cannot be honest with the ones around him or they don't embrace his change of thought and circumstances, those around him are not his true friends. Their dissipation should be encouraged rather than any feeling of loss. Remember, true friends will wrap their arms around your progression and wrap their arms around you any chance they get.

In 1942, Erica Jong wrote: "I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as a part of life specifically fear of change and fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far." Maybe, we have felt the same way, but have allowed fear to control our actions unlike Erica. This has lead to unhappy individuals in even sadder situations. Fear has led ones to stay in loveless, adulterous, and even abusive marriages. Fear has led some to report to underpaid, under appreciated dead-end jobs. Fear has led even others to give into peer pressure resulting in dire consequences.

Unhealthy fear is distressing and imprisoning, and we should never let it control us. Continue to change and progress into a better human being without fear of acceptance. This is the only way to truly find happiness and experience internal completeness.