Is Chivarly Dead, and Did Courtesy Buy the Farm Too?

Walking from work to our car, my wife was a few paces ahead of me. As she approached the door, a man happened to be on the other side of the same door. Instead of him stepping to the side to let a lady through, he walked through the door leaving her holding it. My immediate thought was, what happened to the gentlemen?

First of all, what is a gentleman? He is supposed to be a refined male, non barbaric. He can be seen as one who would care for his family and his fellowman. As such, he is not one ashamed to give love in abundance and he longs to receive it as well. Back in the day he was called "sir", an "aristocrat", or a "caballero". Today, we can just call him "rare".

The Weather Girls sang to us in 1982 "it's raining men, hallelujah!". Well, it must have been quite a poor forecast. Because we are seeing deadbeat dads, men with abusive behavior, absolute machismo, and anything other than a desription of he who was once even called a "lord" in the good ole days. What happened? Where did he go?

Many says he went away after the sexual revolution. Since then, he no longer had to show gentleness and sincerity to gain a woman. Think about it, once upon a time a man had to remove his hat when walking in a room, he rose when a woman sat at the table with him, and he treated his woman like a precious flower. When approaching a woman for the first time to speak to her, he used compliments and terms of beauty. Since the sexual revolution, men obviously found none of this necessary. Instead of endearing terms to get a woman's attention, a "hey shawty" or "looka here mama" works just as well. Women will allow the lack of chivalry, so the men happily oblige. I remember my mother telling me to walk to the door and meet a lady there on a date. Now the fellas just pull up and blow the horn. I remember asking my wife's parents for her hand. Now a man can skip all of that and give her a key to his place instead of any act of chivarlry followed by a ring. Sadly, women view this behavior as acceptable.

Why is this wrong? Because there are some of us who find true value in a real man. We want to employ him because we like his character, we want to be his friend because we can trust him, and we want him to marry our daughter because we know he will give his life for her.
But, aside from this, common courtesy have taken a back seat to produce an inconsiderate generation. This, of course, is evident in both sexes. How many times have you been pushed aside, stepped in front of in line, or had your foot stepped on without even the courtesy of two little words: "excuse me". We can go on for hours about impolite young people, but the older generation is just as guilty. Maybe even more so because they raised these ingrates who are our future leaders.

True enough, this is where we are. But, where do we go from here? We begin by looking in the mirror and resolving not to be discourteous, and resolving not to perpetuate it by tolerating others who maintain a disdain for what we call "common courtesy". As parents, let's guide the next generation by embracing cordiality. May they look to us as examples to follow. Men, let us give women the attentiveness they deserve by being thoughtful and chivalrous to the point that it raises our appearance to elegance. May we portray a polished demeanor that makes any woman proud to refer to us as "gentlemen". Yes, everyone, its not too late to change. May it begin today by walking with consideration for others and carrying ourselves with refinement. If we make this our determination, we will see civility return to us by others giving of themselves graciously as well.